Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
