So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
