His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
