you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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