He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
