why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
