yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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