Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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