Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I touched a dick in church today
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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