I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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