i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
