if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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