okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
