I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
