When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
