would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
