And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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