what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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