That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
