so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
