He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
