Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
