I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize