hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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