well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Randomize
