I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
