I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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