i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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