I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
