It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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