After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
