i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
