Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
