Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
