I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
