You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
