He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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