i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
