dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
