Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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