My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
