I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
