Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
