why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
