Do vagina's smell?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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