love makes seman taste better
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
