she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
