i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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