"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
