at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
