All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
