Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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