Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
