I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
