operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
