If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
