That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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