We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
