No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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