I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
