she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
