their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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