Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
