nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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